The other night at dinner, Jenn wanted to remind Grace to chew her food completely and she, to make it perfectly understandable to a 2-year-old, she decided to ignore the rules of grammar (which she knows PERFECTLY well, thankyouverymuch!) when she said “Gracie, chew your food good!”. Grace’s looked up at Mommy and her cute little high-pitched voice confirmed “Chew my food well?”
For all of the cute-but-slightly-wrong things that Grace says, It’s hard to decide when to correct them and when to just leave them cute. For example, for Grace, when you pass gas, it’s called a “farp”. We left that one alone, which may make her the laughingstock of the playground someday but for now, we have adopted it ourselves.
Another one is “amorrow”, as in the day after today. When she can’t do something today, Grace often holds the hopeful expectation that amorrow it might work out. I’ve tried to fix this one. Every time she suggests an activity for amorrow, I say “No Gracie, TOmorrow,” and, for reasons that lie well out of my meager understanding of the two-year-old mind, she says “five minutes”. Every time. It’s like every time Costello says “I don’t know” and Abbott answers “Third Base”. There is nothing left to say. I think the TO/TWO thing might be confusing her so perhaps I should just teach her to say “on the morrow” and curtsy.
A couple other ones that come to mind:
If you are sitting down you can “stam up”
If the floor is wet you must “Be carefully” because it might be “slipily”
If you are a small dog and do something funny you are “slilly Lincoln”
In the morning when I get Grace from her bed she asks me to “carry you me downstairs”
If you don’t want to get burned, you put on “some screen”
There are many more and they seem evenly split between things that are just hard to say when you are two and things that are hard to hear when people talk fast.

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