Grace and Hazel

IMG_0281.JPG, originally uploaded by Lincoln Topliff.

This is pretty much the first sunlight she has had on her face since March 20th. While I have managed one or two strategic escapes from my circa 1968 YMCA cot, Jenn has remained in her bed with her progression of issues. Tomorrow afternoon, we fix that by going home.

Now we have a new emotional paradox as we both want to sleep in our bed and live in our house but we have to do this without our daughter. If you think about it, though, in a full-term pregnancy, we would not have met her for 5-9 more weeks. I think we are lucky that we get to spend those weeks getting to know her personality and watching her grow without those pesky ultrasounds. We still have a lot of work to do to get the house ready, her mom healthy and Lincoln comfortable with his new sister’s smell.

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IMG_0273, originally uploaded by Lincoln Topliff.

As a preemie, there was a nearly 98% likelihood that Grace would need photo therapy to combat jaundice. She started her little spa treatments today and seems to be ok with them. It’s just a little sunlamp for a few days to keep the yellow out. The eye covering is to help her sleep. She doesn’t get manicures or mudbaths but I see that habit forming here.

She is also spending more kangaroo time with Jenn which makes everyone happy.

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We printed up this pattern and ironed it on to some t-shirts to show our support for the nurses and the level of care they want to provide.

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One of the strangest things about our experience at CMPC has been the nursing strike. Nurses define your hospital stay, no matter what the reason for being there. Their diligence and caring make the difference between comfort and pain. Their crisis management and knowledge can make the difference between health and disaster.

This hospital-”The Baby Factory”-is well known for its fantastic nursing staff and we have met some really wonderful CPMC nurses here during the strike. That said, from the day after we arrived frightened and confused to the day before we leave happy and confused, we have mostly been in the care of replacement nurses. Replacement nurses travel from all over the country to take patients in the event of shortages, emergencies, strikes, etc. They are wonderful women who, in addition to answering the constant requests for juice, drugs and spongebaths (they refused me everytime), have to weather the political storm of a strike to give the best care that they can.

Needless to say, politics abound in a strike. We have friends in the unions, friends out of the unions, friends in the administration and of course, we have the patient’s perspective. It’s a minefield to say the least…one that I will avoid for the moment and just say that we support nurses- union, non-union, replacement etc. With their humor and patience and incredible abilities to do the minute-by-minute minutia, they make us comfortable, reassure us and keep us healthy and sane, freeing doctors to see hundreds of patients and still get in a round of golf or sail their yachts every once in awhile.

Last night and yesterday, we said goodbye to a lot of new friends that will be a part of Grace’s life for years to come. Jenn commented that it felt like the last day of camp. I agree. Camp ScaryCrazy where we got to put on an elaborate play in the talent show with Jenn’s body as a prop and a happy ending to beat them all.

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I know you all want to see more pictures of our little 2 lb 13 oz miracle, and I promise, I will provide more of those pictures and videos as soon as I can. In the meantime, I have been looking for the time to get the story out in a way that can best express what a miracle we believe she is. When I write “miracle”, I don’t mean like seeing the Virgin Mary in your latte foam, or the magical meeting of egg and sperm that grows to produce Kevin Federline, I mean a series of seemingly random events that come together in a result that doesn’t seem like it could have happened in any other way with the same result. Our little result is a healthy mom and a healthy, active little (!) Grace who, when she is not curled up like a little frog, shows off attitude and personality to everyone she meets.

If the next several posts seem like random stuff that aren’t pictures that make you smile and cry, forgive me and bear with me, they are setting up the story. I promise to drop in a new photo every so often to reward you for your effort.

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When Jenn started telling me about this on the phone after I got the really sad news about Kay, I knew I wouldn’t remember the wonderful words she was telling me. I asked her to write me an email (how 21st century)so I could remember them always. Secretly, I also wanted to get a little of Jenn’s voice in this blog for posterity.

—————————- Original Message —————————-
Subject: I’m a kangaroo
From: “Jenn White Topliff”
Date: Sun, March 30, 2008 5:59 pm
To: “Brad Topliff”
————————————————————————–

Babe,

I think I might have just had the most amazing experience of my life…

I just went down to the NICU and spent an hour with our daughter -
skin to skin, heart to heart.

They let me “kangaroo” her.

I was sitting in a rocking chair next to her little “condo” and had a
hospital gown on, open in the front. Nurse Jenna lifted a cranky,
screaming, wailing version of Grace out of her little cocoon warmer
and gently laid her down on my chest – I supported her tiny little bum
with one hand and rubbed her back with the other. Her whole body, like
a little frog, was curled up on my chest, in between my breasts,
snuggled close and warm. The minute, the INSTANT, her body touched
mine, she fell asleep. Quiet and calm overcame her, and me, and I fell
madly in love with our little peanut again. I rocked in the chair and
rubbed her back for what seemed like an eternity, whispering to her
the whole time, reminding her of who she was, where she came from, and
how much she means to us. It was magical. It was heaven. It was the
closest I’ve felt to her, and you – even though you weren’t there with
the two of us.

The moment nurse Jenna plucked her off my chest she started to wail
again and my heart broke. Tiny little pieces of my heart are being
left all over this hospital… Its just a good thing that when Grace
was born I grew what seems to be a never-ending supply for our little
angel.

I love you. Thank you for this amaaazing gift.

Xoxo
Pamplemousse

Sent from my iPhone

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A sad aside while we are celebrating our enormous good fortune and new family member.

Kay Kirk passed away last night. My mom let me know earlier today and it really rocked my day. I understand Kay had been ill and in the hospital for the last few days or so.

The Kirks are great friends of my family and have been since I was a kid. There were alway three Kirk kids, Mitch, Brian and Susie to three Topliff kids–each of us alternating one year apart in High School. We took many family trips together, fishing, water skiing and other fun things that defined my childhood. I cannot look back on these memories without seeing Kay and Russell’s faces and their voices on the CB radio as we tooled down the road towards Lake Berryessa or Clear Lake. They didn’t make our wedding as Russell died of lung cancer just prior to our wedding and didn’t see Kay until the memorial.

In this crazy, wonderful time of ours, I would like to channel some of those good thoughts out there to Mitch, Brian and Suze.

I can’t help thinking about how Kay and Grace must have passed in the hall somewhere out there.

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I started reading ahead to see what my life would look like with this kid that apparently needed to be an Aries (like her dad). I found a nice little site that told me this:

Scorpio Parent/Aries Child: This could prove to be a very difficult relationship for both parent and child. While it is inherent in the Scorpio nature to “feel too much,” the Aries child appears to not “feel” at all. Where Scorpio is intensely emotional, Aries seems to be totally lacking in emotion. The Aries child is so energetic that any Scorpio parent may find it difficult to keep up. It is important in this combination for the Scorpio parent to guard against the deep and heavy emotions associated with the personality attributed to that Sign…in other words, it is paramount that the active little Aries not be stifled.

Anyone out there think my life keeping these two in sync isn’t going to be difficult?

Then again, here are the two of them together for the first time. Maybe they will be the exception to the rule…

Mommy and Grace – The first hold from Grace Topliff on Vimeo.

I had to open another account to get more video upload space. I’ll try to figure out how to bring them all together.

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I can’t write it out here, lest her first email be about V1agr@, but it’s her first name at our last name dot com. She may be a little slow to reply as her fingers only reach across 2 or 3 keys when her hand is spread wide. Give her time, though, she’ll get it.

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Lots of you want to see more more more. Needless to say, I am running around a lot without much time to sit and write. I really want to tell you more of our experience as soon as I can.

In the meantime. There is a link (Grace’s Flickr Set) to the right that will get continuously updated with new photos of the little monkey. The link will remain there and others may appear as the photos get organized, so check back.

To make it easy on you that don’t know what I mean by “right” click here

Everyone here is doing well and basking in the messages of love, congratulations and encouragement. We are off to spend some time with Grace.

It is likely that Jenn will leave the hospital by Weds of next week as she is walking around on her own and groaning only occasionally. She would probably rather have visitors after she gets settled back at home and is looking for mental and moral support. There will be plenty of time for you guys to come and visit Grace as she plumps herself up into one of them “take home” babies.

Love you all,

Brad, Jenn and Fightin Baby Grace

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